RESPECT
BE A partner
Our morals
Our manners
OUR FOUNDATION
Respect and Trust
Let’s be honest. This movement to restore respect is undoubtedly the easiest part of the goal. But we all know we’ve been heading downward for a long time and it’s going to take a long time to bring us back. This could be discouraging. Respect is one thing, but even more difficult is establishing trust after that. But if we don’t continue working on it, the alternative is to keep heading downward.
In 2020, surveys said only 21% of us still trusted government to do the right thing. Since then this dropped to 16% and most recently now, 15%. Trust can only happen if we increase respect. We can’t have one without the other. Even more concerning, 86% of us believe that our representatives would rather fight with each other than solve problems.
The bright side is that 80% of us think we can turn this around. This initiative is counting on help from the 80%, and hoping the other 20% will give it a chance as well.
Importance of Respect
Some quotes from renowned experts:
Dr. Thomas Sowell, 93 year old Senior Fellow, Stanford Univ., says “The foundation of a civilized society is mutual respect. Without mutual respect, there can be no cooperation, no trust, and no social order.”
Jonathan Haidt, Social Scientist, New York University agrees and adds in there can also be “no peace. In politics, respect is essential to building consensus, and for making progress on important issues.”
Sarah Binder, author and professor, George Washington University, says “Respect is essential for a functioning democracy. It allows us to disagree without being disagreeable.”
Let’s repeat this one thing:
Respect is essential for a functioning democracy.
How Respect Works
As individuals, respect makes a sea change in attitudes and in our lives, no matter whether we give or receive respect, an overall good feeling.
We overcome loneliness, develop changes in our attitude like reduced aggression, more initiative, an increase in empathy and even kindness toward one another.
In communities, respect helps us to reconnect, to turn the tide toward something better, to rebuild trust and open the door to more tolerance of others, thus rebuilding social capital and goodwill.
In government and business, progress and creativity are increased, along with more motivation and common sense discussions, with better problem-solving.
So respect does what we need most in government as it helps our leaders to lead, to work together, and develop solutions, instead of leaving us to argue over lingering divisive issues.
Respect is unusual because to receive it, you have to give it.
Forward to Respect
A few thoughts
Perhaps the first thing we need to do is ask “what is respect and how did we lose it?” An old definition says “it is how others look back at us.” In other words, when someone looks at you, what is the first thing they think. One way to imagine that is to think about what pops into your mind when you look at someone else, and take some lessons from it.
Improving our own self-image can help to restore respect. We cannot respect others if we don’t respect ourselves. But we also need to respect others if we want them to respect us. One idea says we should treat others like they are someone we need to impress. Think about what that says. We would be on our best behavior and try really hard to do and say things that would make that person like and “respect” us, showing respect to them. Most important, though, this requires being genuine, being true to oneself in the pursuit of mutual respect.
We do alright looking up. Looking down is where the problems begin.
In government, large or small, a structure promoting working together is essential. Think of a business producing a product. If the bosses and employees do not trust or respect each other or their work, a lack of collaboration and motivation will result, leading to chaos and poor work products, eventually resulting in customers losing trust in them.
In local neighborhoods or communities, structure needs to provide residents with a feeling of belonging. Not long ago, children attended etiquette classes and learned manners to enhance their part in society. Etiquette and manners are out of fashion now. Religious morals and ethics have also waned in influence However, studies show that belonging, being part of something, actually makes us happier than owning something.
Some have sought a sense of belonging by elevating their political opinions into a belief structure. Unfortunately, this tends toward a more polarized society as the two strongest political parties vie for more believers. This has also been exacerbated by cable news and opinion shows.
Polls indicate respect and common decency are severely lacking now. How did we let this happen? We can’t answer it all here, but we can probably agree the worst thing that can happen to a person’s ego or self-respect is public humiliation.
Destroying someone’s self-respect is an act of power over them. With the advent of social media, complete strangers can exercise this power over anyone and everyone and have it spread throughout the world in seconds. Children for years have been taught to be kind to animals. Now we need to learn to be kinder to each other.
We have to work together if we are to form a “more perfect union”, to promote
innovation,to collaborate for the good of the nation and we, the people. This requires an open mind. We have to cooperate in order to maintain a system that gives us the support we need, to recognize and respect both the uniqueness and the sameness of each other. Then, and only then, can we begin the journey back to trusting in each other.
To sum it up: Don’t be a know-it-all. Don’t let hate or pride or envy take over. When you encounter someone with whom you disagree, be honest and tell them you think a bit differently. Maybe you can discuss why you disagree, or learn something new, and maybe not, ,but in the end, hopefully self-respect remains on both sides.
Just give respect a chance. By conversing with others, we’ll undoubtedly learn we didn’t know it all and we might even discover we have more in common than we thought. Above all, we need to remember we are more than our politics.
